Nice blogger man

Ann Althouse's son is celebrating the gay marriage victories today, and firmest-rumped blogger Coketown responds:

As a practicing homosexual, I feel I have perfect authority here.

Your son comes off, here and elsewhere, as a self-centered prick. Sorry. It's true. But that's what this election was about, right? Selfishness? Dicing up the electorate into neat voting blocs and inquiring: "What can I do for YOU?" It was quite sickening--a campaign narrowing its focus to every conceivable minority and quietly explaining to them how their vote is their best shot at Revenge. Every minority enjoyed a quiet lecture on how the broader population of their country hates them, but vote for me, Barack, and I'll circumvent them to get you some goodies. Single women--tired of being stigmatized? NO MORE! It's abortions all the way down. Black people--life stinks, eh? Affluent people aren't paying their Fair Share, eh? Let's wring it from their hands. Homosexuals--I know I ignored you last time, but DADT, etc. People are coming around at the state level, but if we want Progress, we need to start legislating.

The hard sell for conservatism is that it's a hard sell. The shiny object you pay for later is an easier sell than saying we need to stop charging shiny objects and start paying for the ones accruing interest.

See? Boring. What's in it for me? What will the government give ME?

Will all that's going on in the world--our fiscal insolvency, another round of foreclosures (it's coming. I'm in the industry. People are terrified), a foreign policy in shambles, a disastrous healthcare law, stagnant economy, exploding student debt--your son decides his Prime Concern for 2012 was fucking gay marriage?

Gay. Fucking. Marriage.

First, let's dispense with the absurd idea that gays even want to get married. They don't. They think they should want to, but don't. In states and countries it's legal, their participation rate is far, far below that of straights. But their divorce rate is astronomically higher. I read an amusing story about the first lesbian couple to get married in New York is already divorced. Hmm. They seem to want to get married but not to stay married.

Meanwhile, the gay 'community' is rotten to the core. HIV rates among the young are higher now than at any point during the AIDS epidemic. Drug abuse is rampant. Depression and suicide is prevalent. These are systemic, chronic problems that were entirely ignored in favor of gay marriage. Some fucking priorities!

So, yeah, sorry if I don't run out and find someone to enjoy a celebratory hump with over the fact that, what? What exactly? Some states are letting gays get married when they a) won't and b) will get divorced? And Obama alluded to finally having reached the last stage in his "evolution" of understanding marriage?

Stupid.

Next election, my primary voting concern will be the quality of my gardening soil. Who will help with drainage? And adding organic matter? That's all I care about. Fuck you. And you. And you. Fuck you all. I'm in the minority. Fuck you.

I'm not gay at all, but if I was a man, I would turn gay for Coketown.